It's been a long long time since we last chatted so honestly with each other, don't you think so?

I cried and cried, again. But i was calm. No longer angry. Perhaps i am getting used to our relationship being fucked up every now and then. I think i'm immune towards all these dramas already.

It was a night where i tried calling you but couldn't get through your phone. And when i finally fell asleep, you called. And i was never able to fall asleep again for that night.

I remember i mumbled when you called. I was still sleepy.

And after we hung up the phone, i had this urge to call you. Not to talk to you, but to see if you were talking to someone else.

So after struggling with my urge to sleep, i made the call.

And i saw call waiting.

So i called her number. Her phone number that is almost exactly the same with yours, only one digit different.

Call waiting.

I knew what was going on. I started to blank out, didn't know what to think.

And she messaged me, asking me who i was.

I replied, after a while, "Please ask alan to call me when you're done talking to him. Thanks."

And i opened my windows and started the process of self-calming. I couldn't stop. Nicotine could calm me at least for a bit. I could think straight.

And you called.


I think i did the best i could. I was calm, i knew what i was doing, i knew what i wanted and want to know what you want.

Now, all i need is your decision.


Maybe she loves you, really loves you. Maybe she loves you more than i do. Maybe she even loves you more than anyone has ever loved you. But i just want to let you know one thing.

I may not be the one that loved you the most, but you are the one who i loved the most.

Perhaps she can provide you happiness because she is near you. I am a 4-hour away from you.
Perhaps you would like her more, she's more fashionable and sexy. I don't wear mini skirts.
Perhaps you would feel better with her, because obviously your friends and your family like her.

Just go ahead if you want to. I let go.

I don't want to do this, but i think i have no choice but to make you happy.

I would wish you all the best with her and completely get out of your life. Just tell me.


I have rejected so many people for you, and yet you cannot reject this one girl for me. And what about those that are yet to come?


You let me know what you think. But as you know, i'll always be here.